Olympian Parents
by Madrigal-in-training
Summary: Percy and co. expected to have a relaxing, semi-normal vacation after the end of Gaea. Instead their parents call them up to Olympus so the gods could enjoy being kids for a while! Now the heroes of Olympus are their parents babysitters! JasonxPercy Slash
1. Chapter 1

Percy Jackson

When Percy Jackson first woke up a week into Camp, he just knew it would be a bad day. He did not doubt at all that his premonition was the least bit paranoid or over exaggerated. When you live the life of a demigod, half god, half mortal, all monster chow, than you get to learn pretty quick that these simple 'gut feelings' could be the difference between life and death.

And considering the fact that he felt even more anxious now than he did when fighting Kronos or even Gaea a few months ago, Percy was understandably upset. After all, the world of a demigod could be summed up in two words: Life sucks.

That feeling was doubly strengthened when he woke up to find a creamy blue piece of paper on his desk. It was simple, with a border of darker navy blue waves and the scent of the salty ocean clung to it. Brilliant. When your practically nonexistent yet still fairly cool godly father decided to contact you, than you know it can't be for any good.

I reached out my hand to touch it and that is when a bright flash of light transported me to Olympus.

"Seaweed Brain!" a reassured voice greeted me and I turned to see one of my best friends, Annabeth Chase, rush up to me, a look of relief on her face.

"Annabeth, what's going on?" I asked, looking past her to see several of my fellow campers. It was just a smattering of kids: a very irritated Nico de Angelo and Hazel Lavesque, a curious Piper, Leo, Frank and Grover, a worried Ella, a thrilled Tyson and a not-all-too-pleased Jason Grace, and a smirking Thalia.

"Brother!" Tyson bellowed next and I braced myself a near literal bone-breaking hug. It was a good thing too because the hug he gave me was possibly sucking up all the oxygen in my lungs.

"Good to see you too man," I said weakly when he let me down again, "What are you doing here?"

"I guess we'd all like to hear that," Nico frowned, "It seems that we all received a summons from the gods." My ex-girlfriend gave me a crooked grin and rolled her eyes. I grinned back as we shared an inside joke at Nico's expense. When Annabeth had first brought up the idea of us breaking up, I thought it was ridiculous but now I see her point. We function much better as friends than we ever did as a couple.

"Those questions will be answered soon," Demeter cut in calmly and all twelve of us turned to see the Olympians walk up to us. Half of them were in their Roman forms while the other half seemed to favor their Greek sides as they grinned at us.

"Dad, why are we all here?" Jason was the first to demand. The young teen had only grown handsomer after the battle: with his bronzed golden hair, electric blue eyes, and cold smile.

Jupiter took a moment to shoot a brief smile to his younger child before announcing, "Due to the difficulty of defeating Gaea and all the hard fighting and then, cleaning that has been done these last few months, we have decided to take a break."

"Really?" Leo asked, clearly exited, "Where will we go? Will it be the Caribbean? I love the Caribbean! _Please_ tell me it'll be the Caribbean."

"You're not taking a break," Athena corrected, "_We_ are."

"That's not fair," Annabeth scowled, "We had just as much to deal with in the war that you did."

"If anyone deserves a vacation, it's us!" Hazel added, as the small group began to frown and mutter beneath their breaths.

"You want a break?" Pluto asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter, "Okay, I'll give you a break. After the horror of Gaea, than this should be a snap. You'll be our babysitter."

"Say what now?" Frank felt his mouth fall open, "We're going to be what?"

"We've decided to return to the wonders of childhood and bond again as a family," Hera announced delightfully, "It has simply been too long until we got to properly relax."

"You won't mind taking care of us for a while, will you?" Poseidon asked innocently. As the demigods stood there, completely stunned, he grinned, "You will? Thanks!"

"No, wait a minut-" Percy stepped forward hastily but it was too late. A bright flash of light later, left twelve pint-sized five year olds who bore an uncanny resemblance to their parents, if much younger and without beards or other noticeable facial hair.

The demigods watched in horror as the small munchkins seemed to gain their bearings and look at the stunned kids, most of their eyes centering first on a very unlucky Percy. Suddenly most of them smiled, sending shivers down the demigod's spines. Jupiter was the one to say it first.

"Daddy!" Jupiter shouted in glee, running up to a very horrified, very shocked, and very fearful Percy, "Daddy, pick me up!"

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	2. Chapter 2

Jason Grace

Now ordinarily Jason Grace was a very nice, rather sensible, and quite kind young man. He felt sympathy for other's misfortunes. No, really, he did. Nevertheless, when the little king of the gods ran up to Percy like that, he couldn't help but laugh.

He really, really, _really_ regretted that laugh. Especially when the god turned to him next and smiled.

"Mommy!" Jupiter's squealed- I am not kidding, that was most definitely a squeal- and barreled into the other boy's arms. The rest of the demigods wanted nothing less than to burst out in laughter right then, but what they had just seen, made them hold their mouths. No need to attract the attention of the insane mini gods after all.

As for Jason, no one could honestly say that they loved him enough to save him then.

"I am not your mother!" Jason exclaimed, rather harshly to his father (if you think that sounded wrong than you are probably not a demigod) Not only did Jason feel insulted to be referred to as a parent, but who the hell made him a mother! He was a boy! He _knew_ he was boy!

"A bit harsh, don't you think?" Percy smirked, as Jupiter's lip trembled. Jason stared down at the boy in horror. He couldn't- He wouldn't- And he did.

"Wah!"Jupiter howled, tiny lungs working to full affect as tears welled up in his eyes, "Mommy doesn't love me!"

"Jason how could you?" Piper scolded, as she ran up to the embarrassed hero and the small midget who was currently clutching his leg in a death grip, "You can't just say that to a child!"

"But, he- I he-," Jason stuttered, throwing his hands up to the air, "Is there no justice in this world?"

"Apologize," Annabeth said sternly as all the other five-year-olds ran up to huddle near a teary eyed Jupiter. Jason knew he was faking, was absolutely, positively sure that his father was being his normal conniving self, but when he looked into Annabeth's face, he just gulped and nodded. No need get into a fight with an angry knife-wielding daughter of Athena when you can help it, right?

"I'm sorry," Jason gritted his teeth. Jupiter's wails suddenly stopped, but he still looked up at the demigod with watery, and slightly accusing eyes. When he caught the hurt in them, Jason felt a bit of guilt. Maybe this new little form wasn't pretending after all.

"You still love me?" Jupiter asked meekly, still looking worried.

"Yes, I do," Jason said, as calmly as he could considering that most of the girls were glaring at him (even his sister!) and the guys were trying not to laugh.

"And you're still my mommy?" Jupiter asked hopefully.

"And ours too?" another little form piped up and Jason held back a groan as a little Poseidon dragged in a worried Pluto with him to the front. "And you're our daddy right?" This was addressed to Percy.

"Sure," Percy agreed warily, "We're all just one big, happy family." If the mini Big Three noticed the sarcasm, they didn't point it out, and instead looked expectantly at Jason.

"Why do I have to be the mommy?" Jason all but snarled, gritting his teeth.

"Because you're pretty," was the prompt response, and Jason felt his mouth fall open.

"I am not!" he exclaimed, but a hand slapping his head made him scowl and mutter, "Fine."

"What was that?" Percy asked innocently, looking for the entire world as though he wasn't secretly laughing. Jason glared at the other boy but replied anyway.

"I said fine," He sighed, "I'll be your mother."

"Then you can be my mom!" Venus cut off from the group and ran over to a shocked Thalia, "And you'll be my dad." She announced as she pointed at Nico.

"Mine too," Hermes shouted, running over to the spluttering new parents.

"I call the pretty blond one," Athena added, rushing over to Annabeth who beamed at her. A reluctant Mars followed behind and they made their way over to Grover, "I guess you'll be our dad."

"Hey dad," Hephaestus announced making a beeline for Leo with a sulking Dionysus behind him, "Hi mom." Piper appeared too shocked to reply.

"And your our parents," Hera announced imperiously, stalking up to a rather fearful Hazel and Frank, with Demeter trailing behind her.

"So I guess that means you two are our parents," a set of what appeared to be totally opposite twins said to Tyson and Ella. One had midnight dark hair, silver eyes, and a mysterious smile. The other golden hair, golden eyes, and a dazzling smile. This was undoubtedly Apollo and Diana.

"Just how long do we have to be your parents?" Thalia asked faintly, "And I just want to point out that I'm supposed to be an eternal virgin huntress."

"Well I'm supposed to be a guy," Jason retorted, "And if I'm stuck playing mommy to three destructive brats than you have to put up with it too."

"At least I can always say I have a 'pretty' wife," Percy snickered, as Jason glared at him, "What? Can't I be proud of having an attractively feminine spouse?"

"Sure," Jason replied sweetly, "If you don't mind being castrated for life." Percy paled considerably.

"So will we go home now?" Demeter pouted, "I didn't have my cereal yet."

"Sure," Hazel assured her new found daughter, "Um… where's home exactly?"

"We could show you," Pluto offered gallantly, reaching up to grab Percy's hand, "We all have separate houses on Olympus." Percy looked down at the small boy in surprise but did not remove his hand from Pluto's tiny grip.

"I can help too," Poseidon added, clearly not enjoying having so little of his 'father's' attention.

"That would be great," he smiled at the small boys who beamed up at him in response, "Why don't we all split up for a while with our respective kids and try to get everything organized?"

"That seems like a good idea," Annabeth admitted, reaching down to grab Mars' hand, "Just don't get them angry enough to blow up the world as we know it."

"Great," Leo moaned, "We go from heroes of Olympus and saviors of the planet to our parents babysitters." Piper laughed as their children looked mortally offended.

"What's wrong with us?" Jupiter demanded, refusing to let go of Jason's currently numbing leg.

"Nothing," his mommy hastily assured him, before the young demigod reached down and scooped up the small form, "Why don't we go home?"

"Okay," Poseidon answered eagerly, and he and Pluto both grabbed Percy's hand before dragging him to a huge mansion toward the left of town, "Come on mommy!"

"I think I almost miss Gaea," Jason mumbled, before reluctantly following his new family.

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_**Okay so I know this chapter can be a bit confusing with all the demigods, gods, and goddesses in here so I took the liberty of writing down the pairings below. **_

_**Percy and Jason: Pluto, Jupiter, and Poseidon**_

_**Tyson and Ella: Diana (i.e. Artemis) and Apollo**_

_**Annabeth and Grover: Athena and Mars**_

_**Frank and Hazel: Hera and Demeter**_

_**Leo and Piper: Hephaestus and Dionysus**_

_**Thalia and Nico: Venus (i.e. Aphrodite) and Hermes**_


	3. Chapter 3

Percy Jackson Chapter Three

By the end of… ten minutes, Percy had infinitely begun to appreciate his role as a monster-attacked, life-risking, demigod hero instead of a parent. Because frankly, being a parent is unnaturally dangerous. That goes doubly so when the kids are technically _your_ parents, and are super powerful gods who temper tantrums can change to the face of the Earth for all eternity, cause mass homicide, hysteria, natural disasters, etc.

In addition, to add to the problems, his 'wife' was under the assumption that this was all Percy's fault and refused to help him in the least! Although Percy was appropriately grateful that the kids seemed to quiet down whenever Jason sang to them, as he was doing now. The demigod had a pretty decent voice now that he considered it. Best of all, the little terrors were almost asleep.

Honestly, with all the work involved, Percy could not understand why anyone would want to be a parent in the first place.

"Are they asleep?" Percy whispered, as he made his way into the temporary nursery that was one of Jupiter's huge extra guest rooms.

Jason looked up from where he was tucking in a dark haired boy's covers and nodded briefly. The son of the sea god could not help but let out a relieved sigh as three gentle waves of snores made themselves known. He silently stepped into the room, years of training falling as he smiled down at the gently sleeping forms of the three boys, all side by side in the huge bed.

"They look so peaceful," Percy, breathed in wonder, and from beside him, Jason nodded in agreement.

And they did look more peaceful. Asleep, their childish faces relaxed into beautiful, cherubic forms, and the similarities became eerily apparent. All three boys had the pale, ivory complexion of a Greek, strong Roman noses, and silky black hair over strong features. Without the stress their older counterparts faced daily, these faces were filled with peace… and even, happiness.

"Do you think they'll be angry at us in the future if we tell them they were adorable now?" Jason asked, grinning down at the happily asleep faces.

Percy shrugged from beside him and smiled back, "Jupiter would fry us, Poseidon would drown us, and Pluto… well, sooner or later, Ceberus would get hungry."

"Fed to a three headed dog," Jason said wryly, "Oh the joys of parenthood."

"You're actually pretty good at it," Percy admitted, as they stood up and walked out of the nursery.

Jason scowled at him, "Shut up Jackson."

"It's not an insult," said boy protested as they made their way through the opulent house, "I mean it, you really are a great parent."

"Not a great mom?" Jason asked suspiciously, making Percy grin.

"Well that too," he added, dodging Jason's unsuccessful swipe, "You managed to get them to sleep, didn't you?" Jason appeared slightly mollified by that.

"I did," he admitted proudly, "But those three really respect you. Didn't you see when Poseidon got jealous when you held Pluto's hand instead of his?"

"But Jupiter _cried_ when you didn't acknowledge him," Percy reminded the boy, "He likes you best."

"I guess we're both good parents then," Jason replied, trying- and failing- to keep a grin from tugging on his face, "Can't believe I ever said that."

"I don't think I can either," Percy joked, and then said, seriously this time, "Um… what happens when they wake up?"

"What do you mean?" Jason asked, confused.

"Don't we have to feed them something?" Percy asked reasonably, "I mean they have to get hungry sooner or later…"

"… you almost sounded responsible for a moment there Jackson," the other hero voiced his shock, "Did Annabeth hit you over the head too hard again?"

"Shut up!" Percy scowled, "I don't need a medic!" Jason smirked.

"I never said you did."

"…Shut up."

"Well we might as well get some food ready then," Jason grinned, as Percy sulked next to him. He turned to the left and made his way to the kitchens. "Well, come on already!" he called over his shoulder when he saw that the demigod wasn't following him.

"How do you know where to go?" Percy exclaimed, clearly impressed, "The mansion's gigantic!"

"I've been here before," Jason said shortly, and the rest of the way was quiet as the two made their way to a rather large, if warm and inviting, kitchen. That silence was promptly broken as Percy's stomach growled.

Jason felt a smile break out through his face, "I guess the munchkins aren't the only hungry ones then, huh?"

Percy blushed and then sent him a sheepish grin, "Hey, one of us has to be human. Now come on!" Then, with no small amount of enthusiasm, he grabbed the other boy's hand and dragged him into the kitchen.

Jason laughed and allowed himself to be dragged in by a hungry Percy. He didn't stop to wonder why the son of Poseidon's smile made his face feel warm.

_It must be the eyes_, Jason decided, and then… _WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST THINK?_

Luckily for the young hero's sanity, he didn't have more than ten seconds to think that over before Percy suddenly grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen. When the boy released his hand, he felt a brief spurt of reluctance that was quickly overshadowed by amusement as Percy made a beeline to the fridge.

"Food!" Percy exclaimed with delight, "Now I know how Grover feels!"

Jason bit back a smile as he watched Percy pull out an assortment of what appeared to be random and totally unrelated ingredients: a box of uncooked pasta, a jar of pickles, a half-gallon of ambrosia tipped milk, a box of Demeter's all natural wheat cereal, Isis organic fruit pastries (which was quickly chucked in the garbage), half a carton of eggs, mayonnaise (which was weird because Zeus hated mayonnaise), parsley, and three slices of unleavened bread.

The only thing Jason got from all of that was that his father really needed to go shopping.

"For the love of Jupiter, does your father _ever _go shopping?" Percy exclaimed, unwittingly echoing his new spouse's thought, "What do I do with all this?"

"We could give them cereal?" Jason suggested. The look Percy gave him clearly showed how unappealing he found the idea.

"No child should have to eat cold cereal when they wake up," he immediately disagreed, "I guess you'll just have to go shopping then!"

"Me?" Jason yelped, "Why the hell do _I _have to go?"

"Well do you know how to cook/" Percy asked reasonably. At the stubborn silence that greeted his words, he nodded sagely, "Then you go shopping and I'll cook the food. If you want I'll even show you how to make blueberry pancakes."

That got a reluctant smile out of the other teen, "You're going to give them an obsession with blue food too?"

Percy's smile was anything but innocent, "I, for one, think Hades and Jupiter will love it."

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_**This is the third chapter! I want to thank everyone for their reviews; I had no idea that this story would get so popular so fast. I will try to get the fourth one posted up as quickly as possible and post any comments or suggestions that you have until then. **_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Pancakes!" Jupiter shouted gleefully, making a beeline toward the food-laden table. Although the colorful pancakes caught his attention first, they weren't the only foods Percy had filled the table with. Adding to the pancakes were freshly squeezed orange juice, crisp bacon, scrambled eggs, strawberry and vanilla crepes, golden waffles, and chocolate covered corn muffins.

"Food," Poseidon said, almost religiously as he stared at the full table. He repeated himself, just to make sure everyone was aware of the significance of the moment, "Food."

Pluto rolled his eyes as he looked at his younger brothers, and made his way to his Mommy instead. Reaching out a tiny hand, he tugged on Jason's sleeve.

"Did you make this Mommy?" Jason looked down at him, briefly feeling annoyance at the unwanted title. He shook his head, "No, your father made all this."

"You can cook, Dad?" Jupiter asked from where Percy had settled him on the table. Because his mouth was full of pancake though, it came out, "Ou 'an coo Daad?"

Percy mentally translated that as he picked up Poseidon and settled him on another seat, "Yes, you're... er, grandmother taught me."

He winced. His mother was going to take the news of him being a teenage dad well.

Jason caught that look and snickered, "Actually kiddos, do you want to visit your grandmother today?" He bit back a smile at Percy's horrified face, and leaned down to pick up a struggling Pluto. The small boy later found himself next to his brothers, with a full plate of food in front of him. The boys, on the other hand, looked thrilled at the prospect.

"Oh, can we go Dad? Can we?" Poseidon begged.

"It would be so cool to meet Grandma," Pluto looked mystified by the prospect, "Is she nice?"

Jupiter looked alarmed. "I don't want to go if she's not nice!" he declared. The little godling would have looked fairly imposing if not for the strawberry smear across his cheek.

"Oh very," Jason assured him, picking up a vanilla crepe and taking a bite. Mmm, Percy wasn't such a bad cook then. "She also makes excellent chocolate chip cookies."

That settled it.

"I want to go too!" Jupiter clamored, bouncing up and down on his seat, "I want to eat cook- I mean, meet Grandma!"

"Are all your reasons this altruistic?" Jason asked wryly, as he made himself comfortable on a seat and brought the plate of crepes toward him.

Jupiter opened his mouth- presumably to either ask what 'altruistic' means or to demand that Jason share the delicious pastries- but was interrupted by someone opening the door. Percy straightened up at the surprising visitors.

"Thalia? Nico?" Percy asked, as the two demigods walked in. Nico had a purplish bruise on his head, while Thalia looked thoroughly pissed. Two midgets followed them from behind.

"Venus! Hermes!" Poseidon shouted, deciding to follow his 'Dad's' example and shout the visitors' names, "Look! We have food!"

"Pancakes? Waffles?" Hermes noted excitedly and made his way to the table, "Man Poseidon, you're so lucky. My parent can't cook at all."

"Hey, I made you guys cereal, didn't I?" Nico looked affronted.

"That's not actual food Dad," Hermes explained patiently, "It has to taste good for it to be food."

"Cheerios are delicious," Nico replied, sticking his nose in the air. All the pride in the world couldn't stop him from snatching a plate and filling it with eggs, bacon, and waffles though.

Thalia rolled her eyes. "He," she addressed her brother, but indicated the child of Hades, "is driving me insane. Do you know where I can find a good divorce lawyer?"

"Um... no," Jason raised his eyebrow, "I take it you caused the bruise on his forehead."

"Mommy's just in denial over her love for Daddy," Venus said solemnly, before going back to stuffing her face with muffins. Percy snickered when Thalia turned a bright red.

"Love," he questioned, dodging the Huntress's swipe, "What are you guys doing here anyway? Besides, stealing my food anyway."

"We're your messengers," Hermes answered cheerfully, "Uncle Tyson and Aunt Ella are taking their kids to the library, Aunt Annabeth and Uncle Grover are doing the same, Uncle Leo and Aunt Piper are having a picnic, and Uncle Frank and Aunt Hazel are having a nervous breakdown. By the way, Aunt Annabeth is organizing a huge dinner for everyone in the family later and- HEY, THOSE ARE MINE!"

His message was cut off as Jupiter reached over and snatched a waffle off of his plate.

"Give it back!" Hermes shouted, "This means war!"

"Never!" Jupiter shouted, quickly taking a bite out of the delicious food, "Yum, chocolate."

Hermes gave an incoherent roar of rage and jumped across the table toward the midget King of the Gods. His aim missed though and he tumbled into the form of a wide-eyed Pluto.

"Leave my brother alone!" Poseidon shouted, getting into the fight.

"You leave my brother alone!" Venus yelled, giving the sea god a rather powerful right hook.

"Hey! Don't hit Poseidon! He may be annoying but-" Jupiter started.

"Shut up Jupiter!" Poseidon rejoined.

"Leave me alone," Pluto wailed, "MMMOOOOMMMMMMYYYY!"

Percy knew that he shouldn't laugh at the scene, but he couldn't stop the hysterical giggles coming up his throat. This morning was insane, and he hadn't even gotten to his mom's house yet. He turned his head to look at Jason, and for once the two were in complete agreement.

The son of Jupiter shook his head and gave Percy a helpless smile.

Being a parent was so much harder than he ever thought it would be.

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	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"A-And those are y-your sons?" Sally asked, her voice shaky.

Percy nodded.

"A-and they're the t-three top Olympians?" she questioned.

Percy nodded.

"I-Including your father, Poseidon?"

Percy nodded.

The woman in front of him paused. Then stared at Percy. And then at the three boys. Then at Percy. Then at the three boys.

And then Sally turned and gave a nervous Jason a good, long, hard look.

Then she smiled.

"Well I suppose I should have expected this by now," she allowed, chuckling, "You always did like playing with flowers whenever we went to the park."

Percy gaped at her, torn between relief and embarrassment.

Jason gaped at her, torn between relief and amusement.

As for Sally, she just chuckled and adopted an all-knowing, mother look, "What? I can't say I haven't suspected... anyway, I must admit I'm proud that you married such a handsome man."

Jason and Percy both gaped at her.

"Although I could have waited a few years before getting grandchildren," Sally added thoughtfully, before smiling a brilliant grin and crouching down to face the three shocked boys, "Hello, there. My name's Sally and I suppose- for the moment anyway- I'm your grandmother."

"Really?" Poseidon said excitedly, "My name's Poseidon and these are my brothers, Pluto and Jupiter!"

"I see the resemblance," the mortal woman said sagely, turning to nod at the two other boys.

"Sally," Pluto asked shyly, "Can we call you Grandma?"

Sally beamed at him, "I wouldn't have it any other way." Pluto grinned back.

Jupiter though, decided to skip the mushy stuff and go straight to the manly business.

"Do you have cookies?"

Percy bit his lip, worried that his mother my take offense to that, but luckily, she just took it in stride.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Sally announced, springing to her feet, "Blue chocolate chip really. Who wants some?"

"We can have them?" Jupiter questioned, starry-eyed, "As much as we like?"

"Sure," the newfound grandmother said easily.

It was at that moment that the mortal, Sally Jackson, earned herself the undying love of the three most powerful gods of Olympus.

"Don't eat too much though," Percy added, earning himself three identical dirty looks from the young deities. He protected his decision by adding, "You'll be too full for lunch!"

"Yeah Perce, they're really going to listen to that," Jason said sarcastically, as he sat down on a nearby chair, "It's nice to meet you ."

Percy was so surprised by the newfound nickname that he forgot to protest the insult that followed. Instead he quietly sat down and watched as Jason quickly charmed his mother. Fifteen minutes later, Percy had decided that Jason really was totally unfair. Good looking, intelligent, powerful... and he had the nerve to be funny too? What was wrong with this boy?

"So naturally Piper seems to decide that it was a challenge," Jason continued his story, chuckling as he recalled his beautiful friend's cherry stained face, "And so she decided that any Daughter of Aphrodite could match that before eating eight strawberries- at once- and topping it with a Cyclops sized handful of whipped cream. Anyway, with her just recovering from the last dare, that was a horrible combination, so she decided to..."

"No," Sally gasped, barely able to smother her laughter, "She didn't!"

Jason gave her a roguish grin. "Ah, but she did," he replied smugly, "And that is the the real reason why the King of the Wild is afraid of strawberry bushes."

"Of course you'd approve of that," Percy rolled his eyes, "Grover was traumatized, you know."

Jason turned and his smile became more of a smirk. "I know. You spent an hour lecturing everyone, right?" Percy's face turned a deeper red and he glared at the blond boy.

"What's your point?" he grounded out. Jason shook his head and his smile became more gentle.

"Nothing," he said, "It's just your type of thing, huh hero?" Percy's face deepened into a brighter red this time, though he suspected that it wasn't entirely from annoyance.

"I wouldn't say that I'm the only hero here, right?" Percy retorted, "What was it that you shouted before? Oh yeah... 'I'm the son of Jupiter! I'm a child of Rome, consul to demigods, praetor of the First Legion. I slew the Trojan sea monster, I toppled the black throne of Kronos and and destroyed the Titan Krios with my own hands.' Wouldn't you say that qualifies as a prideful hero?"

Jason's eyes glittered, "I'm surprised you remember all that Jackson. Do you make it a habit of memorizing all my speeches?"

Percy's look could crack ice. "Only when they're repeated so many times that I have no choice," he replied swiftly, "Perhaps you should try to minimize your boasts if you don't want someone to repeat them?"

"I wouldn't need anyone to repeat my boasts," Jason retorted, "Unlike a certain hero I could mention... did you need Annabeth to constantly repeat your spiel lest you forget it?"

"At least Annabeth does it from genuine admiration," Percy frowned, "I don't need simpering fans to feel better about myself."

"Be careful about how you talk about Piper," Jason warned.

Percy's smile was triumphant, "It wasn't Piper I was referring to."

Jason was just about to reply- or punch him- when Pluto decided to say something.

"What are Mommy and Daddy doing?" Pluto looked up from the cookie he was gnawing. Jupiter looked up as well as swallowed his snack before he relied.

"Don't worry," the boy said dismissively, "They're just getting rid of sexual tension by insulting each other because they're still in denial."

"Isn't that a river in Egypt?" Poseidon asked innocently as their parents gaped.

"It's a river too," Jupiter informed him, "But it's also a mental disorder where the people don't acknowledge that they have a disorder."

"How do you know about this?" Percy asked, deciding to abandon his argument for the moment.

Jupiter looked nonplussed, "Venus told me."

"Mommy," Pluto looked concerned, "Won't it be a better idea to get rid of your sexual tension in another way instead of insulting Daddy?"

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End file.
